"The copper is… adequate." — Verified Customer, 3781 years ago
Guaranteed* quality. (*Guarantee not legally binding in ancient Sumer.)
Welcome to Ea Nasir Copper Co., the most historic (and notorious) copper merchant brand on Earth. We proudly honor the legacy of Ea Nasir, a man who once sold copper so questionable that his customer wrote the world's oldest complaint letter on a clay tablet.
We continue this ancient tradition by offering copper of… varying enthusiasm. Each bar is hand-inspected by our artisans, who say things like "Yeah, looks fine I guess" and "Close enough."
Perfect for trade, crafting, or angrily returning at great personal expense.
Price: 2 shekels each
Refunds processed in 2–4 millennia.
Our most improved copper yet. Guaranteed to contain at least a little bit of copper.
Price: 5 shekels
No guarantees apply.
Is it copper? Is it stone? Is it just dirt? Only one way to find out.
Price: 1 shekel
Nanni (c. 1750 BCE):
"What you sent me was not good copper. I will not accept this."
A Traveler From Dilmun:
"Quality so mid I wrote it down in cuneiform."
Modern Customer:
"Arrived fast. For sure cursed. 5 stars."
*Actual reviews may be from thousands of years ago.
Questions? Complaints? Clay tablets to inscribe?
Email us at: complaints@eanasircopper.com
Or send a courier to our ancient warehouse on the banks of the Euphrates.